ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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