Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize