I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
