And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
