Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
