Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
