i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
