South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
God I need to hump something, right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize