You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
