Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
