I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
