Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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