After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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