Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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