3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
