So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize