I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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