dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
