I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
