my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dicks are not precious.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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