you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You did what with his pubic hair?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
