dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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