..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
