Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize