he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
