The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
