as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
