Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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