peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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