I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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