She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize