So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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