Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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