I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
