I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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