Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
