wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
