their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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