that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
