I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
