pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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