dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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