so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
