He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
