David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
