Don't you send me to vm
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
