I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
