i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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