Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
