Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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