You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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