you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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