i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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