I'm drive I can fine osifer
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
