I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
