I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
